Does Time Heal All Wounds?

Last week, June 14th marked the one year anniversary of my son's death. Today was the anniversary of his funeral. It seemed like no one except the immediate family remembered. I kept hearing everyone say "has it been that long"? Some say next year it will be better, but I know different. I've lived through suicide grief before.

When my husband killed himself the 2nd through 5th year was the hardest. Other people tend to think that time will help us heal. We never heal. We just learn to adapt. As time passes it is just one more day in which you are separated from those we love.

On the 14th I kept watching the clock thinking at 11:00 am my son was still alive one year ago, but by 3:00 I realized that he was gone at that time that fateful year of 2007. I thought about the time today again and realized in the evening there still people here at my house trying comfort me. I also realized at this time a year ago I became a zombie, who has been paralyzed with grief.

I miss my son Daniel more than words can ever say. I lost my only child, my friend, and my protector. Never again would he stand above me patting me on the head telling me I was short. I no longer have someone walking around who looks like me, I will never hold a grandchild in my arms, and I will die alone.

Standing Together

Everyday the number of suicides increases, and we as survivors must band together to lend one another support. No one else really understands the pain of loosing a child, or the guilt of being left behind unless they have experienced it themselves. For this reason we must be strong for each other, and keep the communication flowing. Today is the day to make a stand!

Heartbeat is a great organization. Find a meeting and go.

Is it murder or suicide?

Many of us are told our loved completed suicide, when in fact they were actually murdered. Poor police investigation, and the pressure quickly close cases comes into play here. Criminals often use this to set a murder up to appear to be a suicide.

What can families do? Pressure the police, or hire a private investigator. In my case my son was shot in the head in a very strange spot for a suicide. Many people have asked me what difference does it make he is still dead. I matters a great deal in the type of grieving the family goes through. The truth matters, and justice matters. Both suicided, and murder leaves a family with complicated grief, but at least if you know the truth it helps to know who to be angry with.

In our case we can't prove anything, but are satisfied the truth will come out eventually.